Twenty Years of Magic

Twenty Years Ago Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone was first released in the United Kingdom. It soon evolved into the phenomon that the series is known as today. I obviously have had a great deal of influence from these books. They certainly have built me into the person I am today. I like to think these books were the ones that really made me appreciate my love for reading and literature. Even though I love a lot of books now the Harry Potter series will always hold a special place in my heart. Even in college I made a bunch of friends due to Quidditch becoming a college sport because of the series. It made me have a group of friends that I could relate to for the first time in a long time. Same goes for when I first attended Misti Con in 2015. That opened my eyes to a part of the fandom I had never experienced before; it also has influenced me into becoming the person I am today and having the the ability to accept parts of me that I never accepted before. Harry Potter is my favorite thing in the world and I think the following wording will sum it up as well as anything.

“Harry Potter is quite possibly my favorite thing. It’s not because of the story, or the characters, or finding out what House you would be sorted into. Rather, it’s because of the opportunities it has presented to me throughout the years. The new friends I was fortunate to meet, the groups I joined or attempted to create, or having the ability to present on topics I found were quite important to me. The series finished in 2007, but ten years later this Gryffindor turned Slytherin is still learning things about themselves as a person because of the individual growth made only possible by a fantasy world that was created twenty years ago. Harry Potter isn’t just a book series to me, but rather a lifeline, something I can always turn to during the darker times.” “For happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.”

 

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My Girls <3

I’ve decided that I’m going to add to my list of writing. While I enjoy writing my novel I feel my heart will be a lot more into it if I start doing some stories on my favorite characters from my favorite series. I’ve never been someone who indulges much in fan fiction. I think mostly because a lot of it is pretty messed up, or poorly written, or a combination of the two. I also believe I didn’t have a plot line I really cared about before this moment. After some consideration though I’ve realized writing stories about Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood living together would be the ultimate plot line for me, as well as it feeling somewhat original. Not sure where I am going with it, but I am quite excited to write about these characters from my own perspective. Even if it’s crap it will be nice to have a connection with Hermione and Luna again. Since I lost mine after Misti. I need this, more than I wish to admit, but I like to think writing is writing and continuing my passion will help me overall. At the very least I am really excited to write about my girls Hermione and Luna. As characters I’ve never cared for anyone more in a book series and this writing will show that. Hopefully I’ll have updates soon, until then take care.

Love,

Emily

Crookshanks

It’s been a few weeks since Misti-Con and it’s been difficult to move on. Being there for four days gave me a freedom I’ve never had before, and won’t have again until after I move out. My other option is to wait for Misti 2019, but that feels so far away and I’m not sure I can take it.  Yesterday I had the house to myself for the day so I had the afternoon to dress up as Luna and Hermione again and get photos for myself. I even did my makeup a little, but alas that was only a four hour escape. Granted it was one I desperately needed, but it’s not as satisfying as I would like it to be. Living at home is torture especially when you hate your job and hometown. Lately though a new pain has emerged that I’ve never felt before. After letting Hermione and Luna out for the first time it’s quite challenging to put them back in. The only solution I’ve been able to come up with so far is to keep Crookshanks nearby (my stuffed cat for Hermione’s cosplay). It’s comforting to have a piece of my outfits nearby even if it doesn’t mean the same thing. I’ve been sleeping with Crookshanks for almost a month and I don’t think it will stop anytime soon. Anything to remind me of the brief period of time I could truly be myself and be happy about how out in the open I was. Anyway, I don’t have much else to say at the moment, so until then I will keep on moving forward.

 

Love,

Emily

Hermione Lovegood

This past weekend at Misti-Con I let my other side out for the first time in public. It was such an invigorating experience. I am a little depressed at the moment because I realize it will be a while before I have that opportunity again, but it was really special for me and I cannot be thankful enough for the people that accepted me and gave me such fond memories. I was so happy for those four days and as I sit here and write this I am becoming a little teary eyed. Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood are my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series and be able to portray them in full costume was the highlight of 2017 for me. I have dressed up before but never to this extent and never out in front of people. This space gave me the ability to actually feel comfortable enough to do so.  I don’t mean to ramble, but I wanted to thank Misti for giving me such defining moment in my life. The organizers and presenters and everyone that dedicated all their hard work to make this con happen made it the most special place for me. As well as the attendees and old friends that never made me question my decision. In 2015 I discovered a place that meant the world to me, and 2017 reaffirmed why it continues to be my safe place where I am truly free and happy. I’m going to stop writing now because I am starting to cry again, but from the bottom of my heart I love you all and thank you for letting me be myself for the first time in many years.  I love you Misti and I  hope to see you in 2019. ❤ ❤

 

 

Pre-Con Jitters

As Misti Con gets closer and closer my nerves continue to go up. It’s quite annoying since I can’t keep track on which nerves I should focus on. On one hand I have to give a presentation, which I’ll obviously be prepared for. On the other hand I want to dress up as Hermione and Luna, but I am a bit terrified about the reaction and about interacting with other people. My women’s clothing interest have never left my room or my friends apartment. That being said as of last weekend I feel my preparation for these characters has come too far. I have purchased a good supply of makeup for the characters facial features and it seems silly to spend close to three hundred dollars for cosplays I won’t put on. That being said I am still terrified and I probably will be until a week from Thursday. Even then I have no guarantees of escaping an anxiety attack. Hopefully everything will work out and day one will make me comfortable enough for the rest of the con. Any bad experiences with fellow con attendees and I’m not sure what I’ll do. Being called out on is fine I guess, but where is the line drawn when it comes to this comparison? Calling out a cosplay and criticizing a cross dresser are two different things. All this being said if I’m being completely truthful I’m really excited about the pile of makeup I purchased this weekend. I’m not sure why exactly except for of course portraying Hermione and Luna but having my own just makes it more official in my mind I guess. I also love the spray I bought for my wigs to detangle them. They feel so soft and they smell like strawberries!!! I love it. Anyway I’ll probably post within a week or so reiterating what this post already says. I guess I’ve ranted enough for the time being. Thank you for listening.

Love,

Emily

Where’s My Oscar?

Tonight is the event known as the Oscars, where they praise actors and the Hollywood Elite for continuing to be famous and overpaid. Sure some of them deserved the nominations, but in all honesty I don’t understand what makes these people more deserving than any other average person. Not to toot my own horn, but I act on a daily basis and no one recognizes me for it. Where’s My Oscar? Don’t I get an award for pretending to be alive in this pitiful existence? I fake my happiness at work, I fake my identity at home, and I hide my past from this pathetic place I call my hometown. The same people come into my work, they work in the local stores I shop at, or the places I go to eat, the same people I used to see in the hallways making comments or sniggering uncontrollably for some stupid reason. I’m done with this role, I have been playing it for far too long. Escape is no longer a choice, but rather a necessity I need a new place, a place where I can become a new person, a new character, anything that cuts my ties from this place. I wanna drift into the abyss, into a new place, a new life, a new me.

Love,

Emily

Valentine’s Day is Consumerism

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Not that I’m going to be getting anything. I find it quite refreshing to type on this blog knowing that no one will probably ever see it. At least not while I’m around here. I fear my interests have become stronger and the more I do it the more I enjoy it, even though the risk of being ridiculed is a constant threat that I can’t seem to elude. While I don’t have a Valentine this year it is probably for the best. If I plan on making it to England in October then having a girlfriend would be nothing but an obstacle. I’m making final adjustments, but it seems my cosplay efforts are starting to come together. Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood are my two characters. Frankly I don’t have anymore that appeal to me the way they do. The exception to this might be Harley Quinn, however not having a con to wear it for I will probably hold off until I can do it in secret with someone. My job is still killing me, but I like to think the next eight months won’t drag too much. Anyway, just a little summary of my life at the moment. It’s nice to be real, even if it’s just to yourself.

Thanks for listening.

Love,

Emily